Plastic surgery and realistic expectations: when the wish becomes addiction
What a realistic expectation looks like, why a celebrity photo does not work, and when a surgeon should say no.
Plastic surgery can improve how a person feels about themselves. But it does not change a life, repair a relationship or heal inner dissatisfaction. In this article I write about a subject surgeons rarely discuss openly: what a realistic expectation is, and when the wish for surgery turns into a problem.
What a realistic expectation looks like
- It is specific: "I want the hump on my nose gone", "I want the sagging of my abdomen tightened"
- It is for yourself: not to please someone else or to win someone back
- You expect improvement, not perfection
- You accept that healing takes time and that a scar will remain
- The wish has been with you for years; it did not appear yesterday
Why bringing a celebrity's photo does not work
The nose shown on the phone belongs to a different bone structure, a different skin thickness and different facial proportions. What is more, the picture itself has often been altered with filters and lighting. I cannot give you someone else's nose; I can give you the best version of yours. Bring the picture, but let us use it to explain your taste, not as a target.
When the wish becomes a problem
Some people cannot stop after one operation: each time they find a new flaw and are dissatisfied with every result. This is commonly called addiction to plastic surgery. Behind it there is often body dysmorphic disorder: a person experiences a small feature that others do not see, or do not care about, as a major defect.
- Spending hours a day at the mirror, or avoiding mirrors altogether
- Not believing others when they say "I cannot see anything"
- Avoiding work, school and company because of the flaw
- Several operations in a short time, and satisfaction with none of them
- Going to a different surgeon each time
In that case the next operation does not help, because the problem is not in the body but in how it is perceived. What helps is treatment by a psychologist or psychiatrist. It is not a weakness, and it can be treated.
Why I sometimes say no
Declining to operate is not an easy decision for a surgeon. But if the change asked for is not anatomically possible, if the risk outweighs the benefit, or if the expectation is greater than what surgery can give, the right answer is no. Sometimes I say "not now": decisions made in a hard period, such as a divorce, a loss or leaving a job, bring regret later.
Ask yourself before you decide
- For whom do I want this change?
- If the result is slightly different from what I expect, can I live with it?
- Do I have the time and support for recovery?
- What will change in my life if I do not have the operation?
A good operation does not turn you into someone else; it helps you look at yourself more comfortably.
